Can This Marriage Be Saved? - It Is In Both Of Your Hands

'Can this marriage be saved' is a question on the lips of several people who seem to be experiencing the breakdown of their relationship with their partner. Divorce rates are rocketing and many people accept divorce as the natural end to a marriage, instead of expecting to be together until death parts them. In this climate, divorce can be the easy way out.

However, just that you are asking 'can this marriage be saved' is already a very positive sign. Sadly, more and more people nowadays opt for divorce without even thinking whether their marriage might be sustainable.

Even for somebody who is very unhappy about the failure of their marriage, they often accept a divorce without question. You may even hear friends and family members advising you to forget it and move on. Do not listen to these suggestions until you are sure that there is really no possibility of a future in your marriage.

Unfortunately, this is one of the biggest factors for the increase in divorce rates during the last few years. Do you think that there were no affairs, quarrels or other problems in marriages in the late nineties? No, marriage was just as difficult then as it is today. People just did not give up on their relationships so fast.

So can this marriage be saved? Well first, if both of you want to save it, then your relationship is almost certainly recoverable. You need to do some work with a counselor and probably accept being more honest and trustful of each other. You might need to deal with feelings that have arisen as a result of an affair on one or both sides, or other issues. But as long as you encourage each other to put the marriage at the top of your list of priorities, you have every chance of success.

If it seems that you are the only person who wants to save the marriage while your spouse wants a divorce, you will have a challenging task on your hands. But it is still achievable.

You can remind your partner of the points that both of you should try to save the relationship. There may be children. And whatever problems the two of you have, the same problems are likely to come up again in your next relationships unless you treat this as a chance to work on them and resolve them now.

Remind your partner that 'starting over' often just means getting a chance to repeat the same blunders. There is no point in escaping from problems in a marriage. On the other hand, see them as an opportunity to act together, learn and grow. If you can do this, you may end up with a more successful and stronger relationship than you ever had earlier.

Finally, take care not to attach much significance for falling in love. Simply because one of you has fallen in love with someone else does not mean that divorce and remarriage has to happen next. Many fall in and out of love frequently. Even though it sounds modern, consider accepting this without letting it destroy your marriage.

In the end, only you could answer the question 'Can this marriage be saved'.

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